Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Nights and Weekends


Stay-at-home Mom, Housewife, Homemaker; taking on the responsibilities of the children and household: FULL TIME.

That's right, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. As much as I had heard that being a stay-at-home mom would be a full time job, I always thought of full time as most Americans do- 40 hours a week. Anything else would clearly be considered overtime.

What if this gig was a traditional 40 hour a week, Monday thru Friday occupation? No late night nursings- No babies in the bed at all for that matter. No 5am or 6am wake-up cries. No washing the dishes or doing laundry in the middle of the night because there just wasn't enough time during the day.

Breakfast would have to be at 9:15, because I wouldn't get to work until 9 am. Dinner would be prepared and served by 4 pm, so I can clean up and clock out by 5 pm.

Well, we can all dream can't we?

I am so fortunate to be at home with my little one, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure in a perfect world I'd have maid service at my disposal so I wouldn't have to sweat the small stuff. However, in this imperfect world, I have a perfect little angel who will be 1 soon and a great husband who puts a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. So I ask myself, what could be more perfect than that?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Baby, Ramadan, and Epiphany



Well, well, well, look who decided to blog! After a long hiatus I have come to the conclusion that I need to blog. This is my outlet. My writing is my salvation. Far before "blogging" was the craze, I had wrote poetry and journals. This is what I do.

Ramadan. Ramadan was great. I did not fast because I am nursing and am exempt. However Muslims who do not fast are obligated to feed a person for ever fast day missed. I kept pretty busy preparing meals for my family and the fasters at the Masjid (but mostly for my husband, who of course does not count in my 30 feedings. I was just attempting to be a good wife.) Lots of studying and no TV for the most part was beneficial. Ramadan is a time of worship, reflection, and repentance for over 1 billion Muslims around the world.

Baby. Ruki would be the main reason I have not blogged in three months. She has become so demanding. I found myself down at times during Ramadan because while my husband was studying, I was just trying to catch up with our daughter, whether it was a feeding, a mouth inspection (she eats everything!) or just trying to entertain the little monster. In Ramadans past, I would usually go to the park and stay for hours just reading the Quran or some type of educational literature. Now I can barely put aside the time to pray, much less read.

Epiphany. One day at masjid when everyone was praying and I was nursing my Ruki in the back, I realized that I had missed the point. I looked at my wonderful daughter and realized that she is my little blessing and taking care of her will increase my faith, not diminish it. Before doing many day to day things, Muslims say a short prayer, "In the name of Allah, Most merciful, Most Beneficent." I learned that God is a loving and forgiving God.

The Prophet Muhammad said, "Paradise lies at the feet of the mother". With this, I understand that being a mother is a great responsibility and privilege that is not bestowed upon every woman. Now I must go because my eight month old is screaming and crying to get out her high chair!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Thank God for Wall-to-Wall Carpet!

My baby Ruki is on the move! That's right, she is crawling and tumbling and bouncing off the ground every other second. This is why I say "Thank God for wall-to-wall carpet!" My little baby is tumbling all over the place and she just gets up and keeps on trucking! We recently visited a friend's home, and she also had carpeting, but it wasn't nearly as thick as ours and I - not thinking - put my 6 month old baby down to play and do I regret it! She tumbled over and hit her big ole' head on that hard carpet, then wailed and wailed until I nursed her back to normal. (Funny how nursing is the cure-all for everything!) I'm pretty sure she was more shocked at the hardness of the carpet, rather than hurt, but I'm sure blessed to be able to put her down to play at my own home without constantly surrounding her with pillows!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Jenny McCarthy shuts down Amanda Pete!


Jenny McCarthy was witty, yet poignant when she snapped back at comments made by fellow actress, Amanda Pete. McCarthy, 35, is the mother of a child diagnosed with autism. She told Spectrum magazine, “(Peet) has a lot of [nerve] to come forward and be on that side, because there is an angry mob on my side, and I like the fact that I can say she’s completely wrong.” She added, “I look at (Peet) now and say to myself, ‘That was me before I had autism in my life,’ and until she walks in our shoes, she really has no idea.”

She was referring to comments Pete made urging all parents to get the required number of vaccinations mandated by the Board of Pediatrics. However, there has been growing concern about certain vaccinations having a possible connection to autism, a complex developmental disorder.

On McCarthy's website, www.generationrescue.org, researchers attempt to approach the ongoing mystery of the possible connection between autism and childhood vaccinations. The Generation Rescue website states, "The United States has the highest number of mandated vaccines for children under 5 in the world (36,double the Western world average of 18), the highest autism rate in the world (1 in 150 children, 10 times or more the rate of some other Western countries), but only places 34th in the world for its children under 5 mortality rate. What’s going on?"

Jenny McCarthy has since apologized for her comments targeting Amanda Pete, but her and husband, Jim Carey represent a growing number of parents that are questioning the strenuous vaccination schedule that is prescribed for all American infants and children. The fact is that there are a lot of American children suffering of autism- a disease that seemed to pop up overnight- and parents want answers! The question is- who can they trust? Many parents just want a straight answer and a cure.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Getting Back in Shape


I know. I know. This sounds like just another mommy blog complaining about baby weight, but I beg you, hear me out! Yes of course I miss my pre-pregnancy body, but more than that I miss caring for my self: my well-being. For the past 168 days, its been BABY BABY BABY! All Day. Everyday. I must sound pretty selfish, so don't get it twisted- I absolutely love and adore my baby Ruki. Sometimes when I look at her, I just get goosebumps because I can't believe she is actually here with me.

See, there I go again, I can't stop; I'm completely transfixed on her and my body is paying for it. I have been an athlete since a very young age. I'm one of those "No Pain No Gain" types. I love to feel the burn! Running was my forte. It was a stress reliever, an energy booster, an attitude shifter . . . a high. Now that I have not been exercising consistently, I feel sluggish, bloated, stressed, and sometimes just plain ole' down. I guess these symptoms could also be attributed to the severely discombobulated schedule of a first time mommy.

However, I've been using that excuse for over 5 months now. I think it is time to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on the trail. I was doing a pretty good job walking the stroller before the weather reached the 100s, and living in Vegas, I know it won't cool down until late September. I felt so down and out one day, I bought a canister of Folgers coffee. I put a tablespoon of the mix into a cup of boiling water and was wondering why all the "stuff" was floating around in the cup. Filter you say? Oh boy, that's way too much work. I'd rather just go for a run!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

THERE IS A GOD!!!!



As I nurse my beautiful 5 month old daughter, I think to myself, wow, how is this possible? You know . . . all of it, the whole thing. How is it that I can be the sole source of nourishment for another human being? But it's not just nursing; it's the love. How is it that I have developed a love for this crying, spitting, screaming, pooping little person? And not just any love, an unexplainable, impenetrable, everlasting love. I mean I would give my life for her without giving a second thought, but perhaps more importantly, she makes me want to live my life better. She makes me feel like I have to do better for myself- spiritually, financially, and academically- for the sake of her. Why do us mothers- and many fathers- have these feelings? I mean, okay she grew inside of me for nine months, but so what?

I think the miracle of childbirth continues far beyond those strenuous hours of labor. Sometimes I will look over at her and she is just gazing into my eyes, far longer than any teenie bopper couple trumped with infatuation. THIS IS LOVE. THIS IS GOD. It is moments like that when I know with complete certainty that there is a God. An All-Knowing, Most Beneficent, Most Gracious God. Who else could have created this love that surely no human could even fathom before they experience it for themselves.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Milk Me!


When it comes to breastfeeding, I would like to say, "Don't knock it til you try it (for atleast 3 weeks)". It is not easy breastfeeding in this society, however nursing is making a vehement comeback. With all the elaborate breast-pumps and variety of storage items on the market, there are less and less excuses for today's busy moms not to breastfeed. Forgive me if I sound insensitive, I know many mothers have very good reasons for not nursing their children, however that number could be cut significantly if there were more support from families, doctors, and the government to new mothers. I attended a breastfeeding class, read several books and online articles, and talked to my own mother, aunts and friends who breastfeed. I mean, I really went out of my way to find information about breastfeeding; during the painful, bleeding, cracking phase, it was the knowledge about the irreplacable life long nutrition I was providing for my infant that kept me going. Later on I came to fall in love with the closeness and the bonding between me and my infant; a feeling that would have never come to pass if I hadn't endured those first two weeks of pain.

After talking to many mothers who did not breastfeed, I found out it wasn't because they didn't want to, it was usually because they gave up when it bacame painful, or they gave in to some people's opinions of nursing being "nasty" or "perverted" or "hippieish". I would ask these people why they would rather a baby drink fron the utter of a cow rather than the breast of a woman? God created breastmilk perfectly. Many times when a baby has a bad reaction to her mother's milk, it is because the diet of the mother. Many more babies have bad reations to formula.

I blame hospitals, the government, and families. I can not tell you how annoyed I was at a nurse who continually insisted on bringing Enfamil into my room when I was trying to get the hang of nursing. Even the pediatrician encouraged me to "supplement" with formula to "ease my hardship"(forgetting to mention that would lead to a reduction in my own milk supply.)To this day, I get free samples, magazines and gifts from Enfamil. Upon checking out of the hospital, every mom is given a free diaper bag filled with all sorts of goodies courtesy of Enfamil. I also learned that many of the problems women have with breastfeeding should be handled by a professional breastfeeding consultant. They even make house calls! (www.lelecheleague.com) Also, there are breastfeeding support groups at many hospitals. Nowadays, breastfeeding is second nature for me, not to mention it's free, pre-mixed, and already warmed!

You would be shocked to learn the long list of diseases and disorders (asthma and lukemia to name a couple)that have a much lower occurance in breastfeed children. It would be silly to claim breastfeed children never get sick, but atleast they have more than a fighting chance at wellness. With all the nutritional uncertainty surrounding food these days, as mothers it is the least we could do to give our children the best start!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Step-Mommy

I am so blessed to be a step-mommy! I have known my beautiful step-daughter, Patsy, since she was a baby. Over the years we have grown closer and now that she is almost seven I feel like I'm just getting the hang of this stuff. Being step-mommy to a child that does not live with you can create a lot of awkward and sometimes frustrating moments when it comes to the discipline. An awesomely exciting day at the park can quickly evolve into a nightmare when she throws a temper tantrum because someone else got on "her swing". The mother side of me always wants to immediately correct the misconduct by kneeling down, looking her in the eyes and with my firmest voice say, "This spoiled behavior in unacceptable and you WILL STOP CRYING this second or you won't see the playground for a month!" However I have learned thru trial and error that you have to be a lot more creative when it comes to disciplining a step-child. For instance, I am a real stickler when it comes to having healthy meals and snacks, so when I serve her a yummy plate of whole wheat macaroni and cheese with salmon and broccoli, I expect it to be devoured! When I was a child we would've killed to have a meal like this- healthy and tasty. When Patsy turned her nose up at my meticulously cooked dish and pushed the food around her plate like it was slop I was offended and demanded she it- I didn't yell, I just said what my parents had always said to me when I was being picky: "You are not getting up from this table until you finish your food." Well, she did not even eat one forkful. Instead she cried and told her mother that "Kay was being mean to me". When my husband relayed the message I was heartbroken- I had never wanted to hurt her feelings. I just wanted her to build healthy eating habits because I love and care for her well-being.

It wasn't until I had my own child that I started to assess how hard the situation must be for her- being shuttled from two different households with different religions, rules, and expectations. She doesn't need me to be her mom- she already has one of those- she needs me to be her mentor and her friend. So I have decided the best way to bring the peace is to gain her trust and respect, then hope that she will behave out of pure guilt, because she knows I am looking out for her best intrest. For the times I can't play the guilt game, I have learned to use creative language when she needs behavior correction like the time she didn't want to leave the playground: "Patsy, you are a big girl now and you have to show the baby how to be a big girl by going home when it is time. Only babies cry when they don't get what they want." And now I have gotten her so use to compromising when it comes to eating, She automatically says, "Okay, how many spoonfulls of brocolli do I have to eat?" Hey, I'll take what I can get! And instead of chastising bad behavior, I just ignore it, but then I praise the good behavior, and ALL children want to be praised.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Vaccinations Anyone?

Okay, I'm usually a total hippie- I eat tofu, wear long colorful skirts, and am an advid listener of Public Radio. So naturally, I am very skepticle of the whole immunization/vaccination process. I have spent many nights surfing the web, reading articles to support the argument against vaccinations. I even talked it over with my cousin- we'll call her Candice- whom I look up to when it comes to all matters of parenting. Candice is 88% vegan, stunting long beautiful dreds and is a firm believer in breastfeeding her children far into toddlerhood. She has not vaccinated her two oldest children, however being the wise woman she is, she told me it is a very personal decision and gave me a few references to do the research on my own.

Needless to say, after hearing alarming statistics of very healthy non-vaccinated children and their unhealthy doped-up, vaccinated counterparts, I was well on my way to bucking the system and going needle free for my little one. The first thing that probably popped into your mind was AUTISM, and while this was definately a main motivator, it was not what tipped me over the edge. It was reading that the number of immunizations given to American children has almost trpled in the past 25 years. With no preceeding epedemic to warrant this excess, I concluded it must have been the greed of major pharmeceutical companies. Then an unexpected turn . . .

My grandmother came all the way across the country from Philadelphia to visit me and her newborn great-granddaughter when she was just five days old. I told her I had already opted out on the Hep B shot in the hospital and I planned on continuing the trend. She ajusted her glasses and gazed out reminiscently and began to recall stories of children in the 1930s dying left and right of whooping cough and diptheria. She said many days she heard news of so-and-so being hospitalized at the tender age of 5 or 6 of these incurable and possibly fatal diseases. Then she told me of her own bout with the measles as an adult- pure hell- just the thought of it made her grimace. She didin't give me advice one way or the other, but I knew in my heart that I would take the subject a lot more serious.

I am no doctor. I am no scholar. I am just a parent who loves my child and would do anything to protect her. From one parent to another I urge you to consider this from all angles and May GOD have Mercy on us ALL.

This website has helped me a great deal. www.generationrescue.org

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Late Night Mommy

I have turned into a night owl. I am a "morning person" by nature, but I have evolved. This is not to say that I am not an early riser, because I most certainly am, due to the 6am wining, knicking, pooping, suckling 4 month old I have, who just happens to be a permanent fixture in my bed every night. She has what my husband calls, "spidey senses"; everytime I leave her side she has a complete fit. Even if Ruki appears to be in a coma-like sleep, she will jolt out of her slumber kicking and waving her arms wildly, as her inner alarm does the 'mommy come now' count down, 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2- and if I'm lucky I wisk her into my grasp before she reaches 1 at which point she would begin this piercing scream that can be heard for miles and miles! Needless to say, Ruki is lying next to me right now sound asleep.

Some mothers will read this and proclaim, "That child is absolutely spoiled rotten!" , "She needs to be sleeping in a crib!", or my personal favorite, "Just let her cry it out." Maybe a year from now, I might head this advice, but at the tender age of four months, my daughter only has one means of conversation- crying. So if I ignore her cries, I am not teaching her to be a 'good baby', I am simply teaching her that she can't trust the one person in this world that can cure most of her problems. If she's hungry, I nurse her. If she's lonely, I cuddle her. If she's bored, I entertain her. And if she sleeps more comfortably curled up next to me, it is the least I can do. By the way, I am not the only one who believes in this theory. Just ask Dr. Sears at www.askdrsears.com and come into the light! Actually many mothers have this instinct, but some follow it and some do not. This being said, I would not advise a mother who has a baby that sleeps soundly in a crib to then move the baby into her bed- God Bless her! Babies have different personalities just like adults. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY! But don't knock me because I am doing what is best for mine!

Initially this blog was suppose to be all about how I stay up late nights reading, writing, cleaning, and surfing the web because it is the only time baby doesn't need my constant attention, but it turned into something else! I guess I just had to get this off my chest ;-) Thanks for listening.