Getting Back in Shape

I know. I know. This sounds like just another mommy blog complaining about baby weight, but I beg you, hear me out! Yes of course I miss my pre-pregnancy body, but more than that I miss caring for my self: my well-being. For the past 168 days, its been BABY BABY BABY! All Day. Everyday. I must sound pretty selfish, so don't get it twisted- I absolutely love and adore my baby Ruki. Sometimes when I look at her, I just get goosebumps because I can't believe she is actually here with me.

See, there I go again, I can't stop; I'm completely transfixed on her and my body is paying for it. I have been an athlete since a very young age. I'm one of those "No Pain No Gain" types. I love to feel the burn! Running was my forte. It was a stress reliever, an energy booster, an attitude shifter . . . a high. Now that I have not been exercising consistently, I feel sluggish, bloated, stressed, and sometimes just plain ole' down. I guess these symptoms could also be attributed to the severely discombobulated schedule of a first time mommy.

However, I've been using that excuse for over 5 months now. I think it is time to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on the trail. I was doing a pretty good job walking the stroller before the weather reached the 100s, and living in Vegas, I know it won't cool down until late September. I felt so down and out one day, I bought a canister of Folgers coffee. I put a tablespoon of the mix into a cup of boiling water and was wondering why all the "stuff" was floating around in the cup. Filter you say? Oh boy, that's way too much work. I'd rather just go for a run!

THERE IS A GOD!!!!

As I nurse my beautiful 5 month old daughter, I think to myself, wow, how is this possible? You know . . . all of it, the whole thing. How is it that I can be the sole source of nourishment for another human being? But it's not just nursing; it's the love. How is it that I have developed a love for this crying, spitting, screaming, pooping little person? And not just any love, an unexplainable, impenetrable, everlasting love. I mean I would give my life for her without giving a second thought, but perhaps more importantly, she makes me want to live my life better. She makes me feel like I have to do better for myself- spiritually, financially, and academically- for the sake of her. Why do us mothers- and many fathers- have these feelings? I mean, okay she grew inside of me for nine months, but so what?

I think the miracle of childbirth continues far beyond those strenuous hours of labor. Sometimes I will look over at her and she is just gazing into my eyes, far longer than any teenie bopper couple trumped with infatuation. THIS IS LOVE. THIS IS GOD. It is moments like that when I know with complete certainty that there is a God. An All-Knowing, Most Beneficent, Most Gracious God. Who else could have created this love that surely no human could even fathom before they experience it for themselves.

Milk Me!

When it comes to breastfeeding, I would like to say, "Don't knock it til you try it (for atleast 3 weeks)". It is not easy breastfeeding in this society, however nursing is making a vehement comeback. With all the elaborate breast-pumps and variety of storage items on the market, there are less and less excuses for today's busy moms not to breastfeed. Forgive me if I sound insensitive, I know many mothers have very good reasons for not nursing their children, however that number could be cut significantly if there were more support from families, doctors, and the government to new mothers. I attended a breastfeeding class, read several books and online articles, and talked to my own mother, aunts and friends who breastfeed. I mean, I really went out of my way to find information about breastfeeding; during the painful, bleeding, cracking phase, it was the knowledge about the irreplacable life long nutrition I was providing for my infant that kept me going. Later on I came to fall in love with the closeness and the bonding between me and my infant; a feeling that would have never come to pass if I hadn't endured those first two weeks of pain.

After talking to many mothers who did not breastfeed, I found out it wasn't because they didn't want to, it was usually because they gave up when it bacame painful, or they gave in to some people's opinions of nursing being "nasty" or "perverted" or "hippieish". I would ask these people why they would rather a baby drink fron the utter of a cow rather than the breast of a woman? God created breastmilk perfectly. Many times when a baby has a bad reaction to her mother's milk, it is because the diet of the mother. Many more babies have bad reations to formula.

I blame hospitals, the government, and families. I can not tell you how annoyed I was at a nurse who continually insisted on bringing Enfamil into my room when I was trying to get the hang of nursing. Even the pediatrician encouraged me to "supplement" with formula to "ease my hardship"(forgetting to mention that would lead to a reduction in my own milk supply.)To this day, I get free samples, magazines and gifts from Enfamil. Upon checking out of the hospital, every mom is given a free diaper bag filled with all sorts of goodies courtesy of Enfamil. I also learned that many of the problems women have with breastfeeding should be handled by a professional breastfeeding consultant. They even make house calls! (www.lelecheleague.com) Also, there are breastfeeding support groups at many hospitals. Nowadays, breastfeeding is second nature for me, not to mention it's free, pre-mixed, and already warmed!

You would be shocked to learn the long list of diseases and disorders (asthma and lukemia to name a couple)that have a much lower occurance in breastfeed children. It would be silly to claim breastfeed children never get sick, but atleast they have more than a fighting chance at wellness. With all the nutritional uncertainty surrounding food these days, as mothers it is the least we could do to give our children the best start!

Step-Mommy

I am so blessed to be a step-mommy! I have known my beautiful step-daughter, Patsy, since she was a baby. Over the years we have grown closer and now that she is almost seven I feel like I'm just getting the hang of this stuff. Being step-mommy to a child that does not live with you can create a lot of awkward and sometimes frustrating moments when it comes to the discipline. An awesomely exciting day at the park can quickly evolve into a nightmare when she throws a temper tantrum because someone else got on "her swing". The mother side of me always wants to immediately correct the misconduct by kneeling down, looking her in the eyes and with my firmest voice say, "This spoiled behavior in unacceptable and you WILL STOP CRYING this second or you won't see the playground for a month!" However I have learned thru trial and error that you have to be a lot more creative when it comes to disciplining a step-child. For instance, I am a real stickler when it comes to having healthy meals and snacks, so when I serve her a yummy plate of whole wheat macaroni and cheese with salmon and broccoli, I expect it to be devoured! When I was a child we would've killed to have a meal like this- healthy and tasty. When Patsy turned her nose up at my meticulously cooked dish and pushed the food around her plate like it was slop I was offended and demanded she it- I didn't yell, I just said what my parents had always said to me when I was being picky: "You are not getting up from this table until you finish your food." Well, she did not even eat one forkful. Instead she cried and told her mother that "Kay was being mean to me". When my husband relayed the message I was heartbroken- I had never wanted to hurt her feelings. I just wanted her to build healthy eating habits because I love and care for her well-being.

It wasn't until I had my own child that I started to assess how hard the situation must be for her- being shuttled from two different households with different religions, rules, and expectations. She doesn't need me to be her mom- she already has one of those- she needs me to be her mentor and her friend. So I have decided the best way to bring the peace is to gain her trust and respect, then hope that she will behave out of pure guilt, because she knows I am looking out for her best intrest. For the times I can't play the guilt game, I have learned to use creative language when she needs behavior correction like the time she didn't want to leave the playground: "Patsy, you are a big girl now and you have to show the baby how to be a big girl by going home when it is time. Only babies cry when they don't get what they want." And now I have gotten her so use to compromising when it comes to eating, She automatically says, "Okay, how many spoonfulls of brocolli do I have to eat?" Hey, I'll take what I can get! And instead of chastising bad behavior, I just ignore it, but then I praise the good behavior, and ALL children want to be praised.