Breastfeeding in Public: An American Stigmatism

I keep hearing stories about these “Disgusting”, “Outrageous”, “Hippie” moms who are unapologetically breastfeeding their babies in malls, restaurants, and supermarkets. And some of them have the nerve to do it uncovered! Just baby suckling breast with no shame!

In a society that claims to be “forward thinking” and “green” and sensitive to the rights of its citizens, we should be ashamed. In a society where it is the norm to see people kissing and fondling in public, where actresses are called sexy for wearing next to nothing at award shows and bikini tops are acceptable wardrobe for a night out with the girls, it is depressing that breastfeeding moms are the ones met with outrage and disgust.

This is just another indication that the portrayal of liberation and freedom women have in American society is merely a political farce used to make other countries feel inferior to American values.

Do I breastfeed in public? Yes I do. Would you notice? Probably not, because I always use my scarf or other garment as a cover. But does not mean I would be outraged to see another women do it uncovered? No I would not because I have seen much more outrageous things than a mother nourishing her child in the open. And frankly, I’d probably be more happy to see another mother who has embraced the best way to feed their child in a society who pretends they support it, but in reality it is a deep seeded taboo.

Why is breastfeeding taboo in America? What is at the base of American values? Capitolism. And corporations, like Enfamil and Good Start have infiltrated the minds and hearts of American women, telling them their own milk was not good enough for their offspring. And formula was better. So we have not only bought into this rhetoric, making their pockets fat, but we have sexualized and demonized breastfeeding and the people who do it.

This is not a blog about breastfeeding vs. formula. This is a blog about how an entire society can be brainwashed into thinking that something which is good and natural is something that is sick and inappropriate.

Bouncing Baby to Healthy Toddler

The past 6 months have ben a cpmplete whirlwind! Here's the update- I'm still breastfeeding. Ruki has 13 teeth (OUCH! just kidding). She is the size of a 2 year old and has the shoe size of a 3 year old! And I couldn't feel more blessed! My baby says lots of words (NO!, baby, eww dirty!, Mommy, DaDa, NaNa, Pop-Pop, HOT, ect...)and is healthy: THIS IS WHAT I PRAYED FOR: a healthy child. I never cared about my baby's gender, skin color, hair texture, or stature. While I was pregnant I just prayed for God to have mercy on me and give me a healthy baby. Thank YOU Allah!

Nights and Weekends

Stay-at-home Mom, Housewife, Homemaker; taking on the responsibilities of the children and household: FULL TIME.

That's right, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. As much as I had heard that being a stay-at-home mom would be a full time job, I always thought of full time as most Americans do- 40 hours a week. Anything else would clearly be considered overtime.

What if this gig was a traditional 40 hour a week, Monday thru Friday occupation? No late night nursings- No babies in the bed at all for that matter. No 5am or 6am wake-up cries. No washing the dishes or doing laundry in the middle of the night because there just wasn't enough time during the day.

Breakfast would have to be at 9:15, because I wouldn't get to work until 9 am. Dinner would be prepared and served by 4 pm, so I can clean up and clock out by 5 pm.

Well, we can all dream can't we?

I am so fortunate to be at home with my little one, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure in a perfect world I'd have maid service at my disposal so I wouldn't have to sweat the small stuff. However, in this imperfect world, I have a perfect little angel who will be 1 soon and a great husband who puts a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. So I ask myself, what could be more perfect than that?

Thank God for Wall-to-Wall Carpet!

My baby Ruki is on the move! That's right, she is crawling and tumbling and bouncing off the ground every other second. This is why I say "Thank God for wall-to-wall carpet!" My little baby is tumbling all over the place and she just gets up and keeps on trucking! We recently visited a friend's home, and she also had carpeting, but it wasn't nearly as thick as ours and I - not thinking - put my 6 month old baby down to play and do I regret it! She tumbled over and hit her big ole' head on that hard carpet, then wailed and wailed until I nursed her back to normal. (Funny how nursing is the cure-all for everything!) I'm pretty sure she was more shocked at the hardness of the carpet, rather than hurt, but I'm sure blessed to be able to put her down to play at my own home without constantly surrounding her with pillows!

THERE IS A GOD!!!!

As I nurse my beautiful 5 month old daughter, I think to myself, wow, how is this possible? You know . . . all of it, the whole thing. How is it that I can be the sole source of nourishment for another human being? But it's not just nursing; it's the love. How is it that I have developed a love for this crying, spitting, screaming, pooping little person? And not just any love, an unexplainable, impenetrable, everlasting love. I mean I would give my life for her without giving a second thought, but perhaps more importantly, she makes me want to live my life better. She makes me feel like I have to do better for myself- spiritually, financially, and academically- for the sake of her. Why do us mothers- and many fathers- have these feelings? I mean, okay she grew inside of me for nine months, but so what?

I think the miracle of childbirth continues far beyond those strenuous hours of labor. Sometimes I will look over at her and she is just gazing into my eyes, far longer than any teenie bopper couple trumped with infatuation. THIS IS LOVE. THIS IS GOD. It is moments like that when I know with complete certainty that there is a God. An All-Knowing, Most Beneficent, Most Gracious God. Who else could have created this love that surely no human could even fathom before they experience it for themselves.

Milk Me!

When it comes to breastfeeding, I would like to say, "Don't knock it til you try it (for atleast 3 weeks)". It is not easy breastfeeding in this society, however nursing is making a vehement comeback. With all the elaborate breast-pumps and variety of storage items on the market, there are less and less excuses for today's busy moms not to breastfeed. Forgive me if I sound insensitive, I know many mothers have very good reasons for not nursing their children, however that number could be cut significantly if there were more support from families, doctors, and the government to new mothers. I attended a breastfeeding class, read several books and online articles, and talked to my own mother, aunts and friends who breastfeed. I mean, I really went out of my way to find information about breastfeeding; during the painful, bleeding, cracking phase, it was the knowledge about the irreplacable life long nutrition I was providing for my infant that kept me going. Later on I came to fall in love with the closeness and the bonding between me and my infant; a feeling that would have never come to pass if I hadn't endured those first two weeks of pain.

After talking to many mothers who did not breastfeed, I found out it wasn't because they didn't want to, it was usually because they gave up when it bacame painful, or they gave in to some people's opinions of nursing being "nasty" or "perverted" or "hippieish". I would ask these people why they would rather a baby drink fron the utter of a cow rather than the breast of a woman? God created breastmilk perfectly. Many times when a baby has a bad reaction to her mother's milk, it is because the diet of the mother. Many more babies have bad reations to formula.

I blame hospitals, the government, and families. I can not tell you how annoyed I was at a nurse who continually insisted on bringing Enfamil into my room when I was trying to get the hang of nursing. Even the pediatrician encouraged me to "supplement" with formula to "ease my hardship"(forgetting to mention that would lead to a reduction in my own milk supply.)To this day, I get free samples, magazines and gifts from Enfamil. Upon checking out of the hospital, every mom is given a free diaper bag filled with all sorts of goodies courtesy of Enfamil. I also learned that many of the problems women have with breastfeeding should be handled by a professional breastfeeding consultant. They even make house calls! (www.lelecheleague.com) Also, there are breastfeeding support groups at many hospitals. Nowadays, breastfeeding is second nature for me, not to mention it's free, pre-mixed, and already warmed!

You would be shocked to learn the long list of diseases and disorders (asthma and lukemia to name a couple)that have a much lower occurance in breastfeed children. It would be silly to claim breastfeed children never get sick, but atleast they have more than a fighting chance at wellness. With all the nutritional uncertainty surrounding food these days, as mothers it is the least we could do to give our children the best start!